How to connect with people who are different than you？
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1. When I was a little kid, I loved to ask questions, I loved puzzles. I would begin sentence after sentence with "I have a question." It aggravated my parents to no end as you might imagine. But I had this curiosity: I wanted to know things; I wanted to know everything. And I always knew I wanted to be a CIA officer. I used to write my diary in code, I would spy on my sisters, and I dreamed of one day being a CIA officer.
当我还是个小孩时，我喜欢问问题，我喜欢解谜。我总是用“我有一个疑问”来开始我的句子，这让我父母非常烦恼。但我有这种好奇心：我想了解事情；我想了解一切。我一直都梦想成为一名中情局官员。我过去常常用密码写日记，偷偷观察我的姐妹们。
2. As a kid, I had a dear friend named Dusty, who lived just around the corner, and we used to play together all the time. Dusty had a grandmother named Yolanda. And when we were playing together, Yolanda would come out and would say, "Dusty, ten cuidado. Dusty, tienes hambre? Dusty, te quiero mi hijo." And I would say, "What does that mean? What is she saying?" And I would ask question after question, trying to understand what it is that she was saying. Because I understood there was a conversation happening around me, but there were holes in the conversation I didn't understand because I didn't know the words. But as I became closer friends with Dusty and spent more time with Yolanda, I began to understand more about them and their dynamic.
当我还是个孩子的时候，我有一个好朋友，他的名字叫达斯蒂，他就住在街角附近，我们总是一起玩耍。达斯蒂有一个叫约兰达的祖母。当我们在一起玩耍时，约兰达会走出来说：“达斯蒂，小心点。达斯蒂，你饿了吗？达斯蒂，我爱你，我的孩子。”我就会问：“这是什么意思？她在说什么？”我会一个问题接一个问题地问，试图理解她在说什么。因为我明白我周围正在进行一场对话，但由于我不懂这些词，对话中有些地方我不理解。但随着我与达斯蒂成为更亲密的朋友，并与约兰达共度更多时间，我开始更多地了解他们以及他们之间的互动。
3. So even when I didn't understand the words "ten cuidado," I knew Yolanda's face, I knew what that meant. I knew we were probably doing something we shouldn't be doing. (Laughter) But what it taught me was that accompanying all of the questions I was asking, you had to build relationships to be able to understand the context. And so years later, I did become a CIA officer, and I was very excited to realize you could build an entire career just asking questions. (Laughter) So it was really the perfect career path for me. (Laughter)
所以即使我不理解“小心点”这个词，我熟悉约兰达的面孔，我知道那意味着什么。我知道我们可能正在做一些我们不该做的事情。（笑声）但这教会了我，伴随着我提出的所有问题，你必须建立关系才能理解上下文。多年后，我真的成为了一名中情局官员，我非常兴奋地意识到，你可以通过不断提问建立整个职业生涯。（笑声）所以这真的是适合我的职业道路。（笑声）
4. And as a CIA case officer, I worked undercover my entire time with the agency, I worked overseas, I worked everything from nuclear proliferation cases to counterterrorism cases. It was exciting, and it was amazing. And people always ask me, "Do you have any good CIA stories?" and my answer is, "Yes, I do. But I can't tell you any of them." (Laughter) But I do have this one story that was coming to mind, which is I used to meet this man. He was from another country, and he was committing espionage on behalf of the United States government.
作为一名中情局案件官员，我在该机构的整个时间里都在秘密工作，我在国外工作，我处理从核扩散案件到反恐案件的各种事务。这很令人兴奋，也很棒。人们总是问我：“你有什么精彩的中情局故事吗？”我的回答是：“是的，我有。但我不能告诉你任何一个。”（笑声）但我确实有一个故事浮现在心头，那就是我曾经会见这个人。他来自另一个国家，他代表美国政府从事间谍活动。
5. He was risking his life to provide us with really valuable information about a particular topic. Because when we, the United States, were looking at this landscape, the relationship between our country and his country, there were all these holes, there were missing puzzle pieces, and we needed people to fill them in. And this man decided it was so important for the sake of furthering better relationships between our countries and, frankly, avoiding further challenging relationships, that if he could help fill in some of those puzzle pieces, that could be really beneficial.
他冒着生命危险为我们提供了关于特定主题的非常有价值的信息。因为当我们美国在观察这片风景时，我们国家与他的国家之间的关系存在许多空白，缺少拼图的碎片，我们需要有人来填补这些空白。这名男子决定，为了促进我们两国之间更好的关系，坦率地说，为了避免进一步的挑战性关系，如果他能帮助填补其中的一些拼图碎片，那将是非常有益的。
6. So I used to meet him, and when I would conduct a debriefing like this, he would ask a lot of questions. So again, the professional question-asker, I would spend time in advance of one of these meetings planning a laundry list of questions. I would talk with our analysts. I would talk with our reports officers to make sure I understood the landscape, I knew what holes existed, and I knew what questions to go and ask. Then I would get ready for my surveillance detection route, which is when you spend time on the street making sure that no one is surveilling you, so that when you go into a meeting, it's a secure location - you're not putting that person in danger.
所以我过去常常与他会面，当我进行这样的汇报时，他会问很多问题。所以再次作为专业的提问者，我会在这些会议之前花时间规划出一长串问题。我会与我们的分析师交谈。我会与我们的报告官员交谈，以确保我了解形势，我知道存在哪些漏洞，我知道该去问哪些问题。然后我将准备好我的监视检测路线，这是当你在街上花时间确保没有人在监视你，这样当你进入会议时，它是一个安全的地点——你不会将那个人置于危险之中。
7. And usually the last thing I would do before I left for one of these meetings would be look up online what had happened in the most recent episode of the USA Network show "Covert Affairs." (Laughter) Because this gentleman, who was a foreign national providing information to the United States government, to a real CIA officer, loved the show "Covert Affairs," starring Piper Perabo. (Laughter) I have no idea how he managed to watch it in his home country, but that was the commonality on which we built our relationship. That was the foundation of trust and friendship - I kid you not - that predicated my ability to ask this man so many important questions.
通常在我离开去参加这些会议之前，我最后会做的一件事是在网上查找USA电视网节目《秘密事务》最近一集发生了什么。（笑声）因为这位先生，他是一名为美国政府提供信息的外国公民，对一个真正的中情局官员来说，他非常喜欢皮珀·佩拉博主演的节目《秘密事务》。（笑声）我不知道他是如何在他的祖国观看它的，但这是我们建立关系的基础。这是一个信任和友谊的基础——我可不是在开玩笑——这预示着我能够向这位先生提出如此多的重要问题。
8. For every person like him, there's another story: Sometimes it was asking about friends and family, sometimes it was asking about kids, sometimes it was connecting over a sports team or a particular hobby. But for him, the irony that he loved "Covert Affairs" was one that always made me laugh. And in 2014, my husband and I decided we wanted to move back to Virginia, where we're both from, so we could raise kids closer to our families, get back home.
对于像他这样的人，每个人都有另一个故事：有时是询问朋友和家人，有时是询问孩子，有时是围绕一个运动队或特定的爱好建立联系。但对于他来说，他喜欢《秘密事务》的讽刺之处总是让我发笑。2014年，我和我丈夫决定搬回我们都来自的弗吉尼亚州，这样我们就能让孩子们离我们的家人更近，回到家乡。
9. I was working in the private sector for a couple years, and then I decided, you know, what's harder than being a CIA officer working undercover overseas? I know: running for Congress. (Laughter) That seems like a really great idea. Not only am I going to run for Congress, but I'm going to do it in a district that hasn't elected a Democrat in 50 years, a district that's never elected a woman, a district where Trump won in 2016, and a district where there is so much division, like in so many places across the country. This strikes me as an excellent idea; I'm definitely going to do this. (Laughter) Spoiler alert: I won, so - (Laughter) (Applause)
我在私营部门工作了几年，然后我决定，你知道，有什么比作为一名在海外秘密工作的中情局官员更难吗？我知道：竞选国会议员。（笑声）那看起来真是个非常好的想法。我不仅要竞选国会议员，而且我还要在一个50年来从未选出过民主党人的选区竞选，一个从未选出过女性的选区，一个2016年特朗普获胜的选区，以及一个存在如此多分歧的选区，就像全国许多其他地方一样。我认为这是一个极好的想法；我绝对要这么做。（笑声）剧透警告：我赢了，所以——（笑声）（掌声）
10. But I ran because when I was looking at what was happening in Washington and what was happening in my district, I felt that there were not enough members of Congress doing two things: One - asking questions, asking a lot of questions. What is it that our community needs? What is it that our country needs? What is this problem that is impacting this community or that community or our educational system or our climate or our job opportunities in a particular region? They weren't asking questions of the experts: How is it that we can address this? How is it that we can build good policy? And for somebody who had spent her prior career working to answer all of these questions so that policymakers could make good decisions for me, I needed to see more questions being asked.
但我参选是因为当我看到华盛顿和我的选区正在发生的事情时，我感觉国会中没有足够的成员在做两件事：一是提问，提出很多问题。我们的社区需要什么？我们的国家需要什么？这个问题正在影响这个社区或那个社区，或者我们的教育系统、我们的气候、某个地区或特定地区的工作机会？他们没有向专家提问：我们如何解决这个问题？我们如何制定好的政策？对于一个之前的职业是努力回答所有这些问题的人来说，这样政策制定者才能为我做出好的决定，我需要看到更多的问题被提出。
11. And probably most importantly, I needed to see members of Congress who are asking questions to their constituents back home, working hard to understand what real issues impact their lives. The second thing I didn't see happening was I didn't see people building those relationships, getting out in the community and talking to people.
可能最重要的是，我需要看到国会成员向他们家乡的选民提问，努力理解真正影响他们生活的实际问题。我没有看到的第二件事是人们没有建立这些关系，没有深入社区与人们交谈。
12. So across our campaign, we met people everywhere - in barns, Aikido dojos, basements, fire houses, living rooms, dining rooms, everywhere - so that I could see people's lives and I could be present in people's communities and I would be able to ask the questions: What's going on in your life? What concerns you most? What opportunities do you want for your children that might be missing? What else do you think Congress should be doing and focused on? And it was an incredible experience traveling across the 7th District.
因此在我们的竞选活动中，我们到处见人——在谷仓、合气道馆、地下室、消防站、客厅、餐厅、任何地方——这样我就能看到人们的生活，我就能出现在人们的社区中，我就能提出问题：你的生活发生了什么？你最担心什么？你希望你的孩子们拥有哪些可能缺失的机会？你认为国会还应该做什么，应该关注什么？穿越第七选区是一次不可思议的经历。
13. For those of you who did not spend as much time driving across all 10 counties as I did, we stretch from Culpepper Virginia to the suburbs of Richmond Virginia to Nottoway County. We are a long, skinny district, and we have a diverse and vibrant population. And so after I won, (Exhales) I thought, OK, this is it. Now I'm going to Congress; we get to solve all these problems.
对于那些没有像我一样花那么多时间开车穿越所有10个县的人，我们从弗吉尼亚州的卡尔佩珀一直延伸到里士满郊区的诺托韦县。我们是一个狭长的选区，拥有多样化和充满活力的人口。所以我赢了之后，（呼气）我想，好吧，就这样了。现在我要进入国会了；我们可以解决所有这些问题。
14. And guess what happens when you arrive in Congress? It's a crazy place. (Laughter) It's a wonderfully vibrant but so crazy place. Because you have all these people from all these districts working for all these different things. And in this particular year, we have 63 new Democratic members. And you get to Congress, and you realize - yeah, you can clap for that. (Applause) And the new freshman class, we are from all over the country, different ages, different backgrounds, different professional experiences, personal experiences, everything. And everybody's got this urgency to deliver something back home to help the people back home in their districts.
你猜你到达国会会发生什么？这是一个疯狂的地方。（笑声）这是一个非常棒但也非常疯狂的地方。因为你有来自所有这些选区的所有人，为了所有这些不同的事情而工作。在这一年，我们有63名新的民主党成员。你来到国会，你会意识到——是的，你可以为此鼓掌。（掌声）新生班，我们来自全国各地，不同的年龄，不同的背景，不同的专业经验，个人经验，一切。每个人都有紧迫感，要带回一些东西，帮助家乡的人民在他们的选区。
15. And when you look at - oh my goodness, what is the landscape of what's happening in Congress, and what is the landscape of what it is that we should be doing, you see there's all these holes. And you've got Republicans arguing with Democrats, you've got Republicans arguing with Republicans, you've got Democrats arguing with Democrats. How do you come together to build relationships where you can fill in these holes that exist across our country? How in this time where we are so divided can we strengthen the relationships that will allow us to deliver for our constituents and work to make this country better and stronger into the future? And it starts with - bear with me - asking questions and building relationships.
当你看到——哦，天哪，国会正在发生的事情是什么景象，我们应该做的事情是什么景象，你会发现有所有这些漏洞。你有共和党人和民主党人争论，你有共和党人和共和党人争论，你有民主党人和民主党人争论。你如何团结起来建立关系，填补我们国家存在的这些漏洞？在这个我们如此分裂的时代，我们如何加强关系，使我们能够为我们的选民服务，并努力使这个国家未来更好、更强大？这始于——请耐心听我说——提问和建立关系。
16. Because how is it that we can move forward and create policy without talking to each other and say, OK, what are your priorities? Who can I work with? How can I work with someone? How is it that we can, in a divided government, pass a great bill in the House of Representatives, then get it passed in the Senate, and then signed into law? These are the questions we have to be asking. We have to be talking to experts to make sure that as we're formulating ideas, they're built on facts and data and evidence, and they're addressing real problems.
因为我们如何能在不相互交谈的情况下前进并制定政策，说，好吧，你的优先事项是什么？我可以和谁合作？我如何与某人合作？我们如何在一个分裂的政府中，在众议院通过一项伟大的法案，然后在参议院通过，然后签署成为法律？这些都是我们必须提出的问题。我们必须与专家交谈，以确保在我们制定想法时，它们建立在事实、数据和证据之上，它们正在解决真正的问题。
17. Without evidence and data - yes. (Applause) And they're focused on solving real problems. We're looking 10 years down the road: What could come from this? What could be some unintended consequences or intended consequences, and how can we address them? But in a time where we do have so much division, and we hear people back home say things like, "It's so nice to be in such a group of like-minded people," I would challenge you: When you're in a group of like-minded people, you can't solve problems, right? Because the problems exist because of these holes, because of these broken pieces in our community that we have to fill in, the differences in the gaps that we have to start to close.
没有证据和数据——是的。（掌声）他们专注于解决真正的问题。我们展望未来10年：这将带来什么？可能会出现一些意想不到的后果或预期的后果，我们如何应对？但在我们确实有如此多分歧的时代，我们听到家乡的人说：“和志同道合的人在一起真是太好了”，我会挑战你：当你在一个志同道合的群体中时，你不能解决问题，对吧？因为问题的存在是因为这些漏洞，因为我们必须填补的社区中的这些破碎的部分，我们必须开始弥合的差距。
18. And so how do you do this in Congress? Well, I have come up with a plan - it's very simple. On the floor of the House, you have your Democratic side and your Republican side. And so I like to enter on the Republican side. People are lingering in the hallways or in the aisles; nobody's actually sitting - not any critical mass at least. So you scooch by people: "Hi, how are you? Where are you from? What's that district like? Do you have kids? What's going on?" When they're from a rural community, my first question is "How is your broadband internet infrastructure?" (Laughter) Because let me tell you: If there is a bipartisan issue, that should be it. (Laughter) And if I can find common ground around broadband internet infrastructure, that is the first piece in just filling one gap, that is the first piece in bringing some people together.
那么你在国会如何做到这一点呢？嗯，我想出了一个计划——非常简单。在众议院的地板上，你有你的民主党一边和你的共和党一边。所以我喜欢从共和党一边进入。人们在走廊里或过道里徘徊；没有人真的坐着——至少没有足够的关键群体。所以你从人们身边挤过去：“嗨，你好吗？你来自哪里？那个选区怎么样？你有孩子吗？发生了什么？”当他们来自农村社区时，我的第一个问题是“你们的宽带互联网基础设施怎么样？”（笑声）因为让我告诉你：如果有一个两党问题，那应该是它。（笑声）如果我能在宽带互联网基础设施上找到共同点，那就是填补一个缺口的第一块，那就是将一些人团结起来的第一块。
19. And then we pivot: "Hey, how about prescription drugs? Hey, how about that road down the street? It looks like it needs some repair." And it's that way that we start finding common ground. And it's by building relationships that we can start to repair so much of what's been broken down in our communities.
然后我们转换话题：“嘿，处方药怎么样？嘿，那条街的路呢？看起来需要修理。” 就是这样，我们开始找到共同点。通过建立关系，我们可以开始修复我们社区中已经破裂的许多东西。
20. And so in ending today, I would ask all of you a question - thematically, you should have seen this coming. (Laughter) My question to you is this: When you look at your community and you look at the landscape in your community, can you identify holes and missing pieces that might need to get filled in? And what questions do you need to ask yourself and those around you to further understand what could address those holes, what could fill those gaps, what could make them just a little bit less? And then what people do you need to meet, what relationships do you need to strengthen in order to be able to fill in those gaps, make those holes just a bit smaller, and make our communities just a bit more complete? Thank you very much. (Applause)
所以在今天结束时，我想问大家一个问题——从主题上看，你们应该已经预料到了。（笑声）我想问你们的是：当你看看你的社区，看看你社区的现状时，你能识别出需要填补的漏洞和缺失的部分吗？你需要问自己和周围人什么问题，以进一步理解什么可以解决这些漏洞，什么可以填补这些差距，什么可以使它们减少一点点？然后你需要见什么人，你需要加强什么关系，以便能够填补这些差距，使这些漏洞变得更小，使我们的社区变得更完整？非常感谢大家。（掌声）
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