新概念第二册
Lesson 41 Do you call that a hat?
‘Do you call that a hat?’I said to my wife.
‘You needn't be so rude about it,’my wife answered as she looked at herself in the mirror.
I sat down on one of those modern chairs with holes in it and waited. We had been in the hat shop for half an hour and my wife was still in front of the mirror.
‘We mustn't buy things we don't need,’I remarked suddenly. I regretted saying it almost at once.
‘You needn't have said that,’my wife answered. ‘I needn't remind you of that terrible tie you bought 10 yesterday.’
‘I find it beautiful, ’I said. ‘A man can never have too many ties.’
‘And a woman can't have too many hats，’she answered.
Ten minutes later we walked out of the shop together. My wife was wearing a hat that looked like a lighthouse!
Lesson 42 Not very musical
As we had had a long walk through one of the markets of old Delhi, we stopped at a square to have a rest. After a time, we noticed a snake charmer with two large baskets at the other side of the square, so we went to have a look at him. As soon as he saw us, he picked up a long pipe which was covered with coins and opened one of the baskets. When he began to play a tune, we had our first glimpse of the snake. It rose out of the basket and began to follow the movements of the pipe. We were very much surprised when the snake charmer suddenly began to play jazz and modern pop songs. The snake, however, continued to 'dance' slowly. It obviously could not tell the difference between Indian music and jazz!
Lesson 43 Over the South Pole
In 1929, three years after his flight over the North Pole, the American explorer, R.E. Byrd, successfully flew over the South Pole for the first time. Though, at first, Byrd and his men were able to take a great many photographs of the mountains that lay below, they soon ran into serious trouble. At one point, it seemed certain that their plane would crash. It could only get over the mountains if it rose to 10,000 feet. Byrd at once ordered his men to throw out two heavy food sacks. The plane was then able to rise and it cleared the mountains by 400 feet. Byrd now knew that he would be able to reach the South Pole which was 300 miles away, for there were no more mountains in sight. The aircraft was able to fly over the endless white plains without difficulty.
Lesson 44 Through the forest
Mrs. Anne Sterling did not think of the risk she was taking when she ran through a forest after two men. They had rushed up to her while she was having a picnic at the edge of a forest with her children and tried to steal her handbag. In the struggle, the strap broke and, with the bag in their possession, both men started running through the trees. Mrs. Sterling got so angry that she ran after them. She was soon out of breath, but she continued to run. When she caught up with them, she saw that they had sat down and were going through the contents of the bag, so she ran straight at them. The men got such a fright that they dropped the bag and ran away.
'The strap needs mending,' said Mrs. Sterling later, 'but they did not steal anything.'
Lesson 45 A clear conscience
The whole village soon learnt that a large sum of money had been lost. Sam Benton, the local butcher, had lost his wallet while taking his savings to the post office. Sam was sure that the wallet must have been found by one of the villagers, but it was not returned to him. Three months passed, and then one morning, Sam found his wallet outside his front door. It had been wrapped up in newspaper and it contained half the money he had lost, together with a note which said:‘A thief, yes, but only 50 per cent a thief!’Two months later, some more money was sent to Sam with another note:‘Only 25 per cent a thief now!’In time, all Sam's money was paid back in this way. The last note said:‘I am 100 per cent honest now!’
Lesson 46 Expensive and uncomfortable
When a plane from London arrived at Sydney airport, workers began to unload a number of wooden boxes which contained clothing. No one could account for the fact that one of the boxes was extremely heavy. It suddenly occurred to one of the workers to open up the box. He was astonished at what he found. A man was lying in the box on top of a pile of woollen goods. He was so surprised at being discovered that he did not even try to run away. After he was arrested, the man admitted hiding in the box before the plane left London. He had had a long and uncomfortable trip, for he had been confined to the wooden box for over eighteen hours. The man was ordered to pay ￡3,500 for the cost of the trip. The normal price of a ticket is ￡2,000!
Lesson 47 A thirsty ghost
A public house which was recently bought by Mr. Ian Thompson is up for sale. Mr. Thompson is going to sell it because it is haunted.He told me that he could not go to sleep one night because he heard a strange noise coming from the bar. The next morning, he found that the doors had been blocked by chairs and the furniture had been moved. Though Mr. Thompson had turned the lights off before he went to bed, they were on in the morning. He also said that he had found five empty whisky bottles which the ghost must have drunk the night before. When I suggested that some villagers must have come in for a free drink, Mr. Thompson shook his head. The villagers have told him that they will not accept the pub even if he gives it away.
Lesson 48 Did you want to tell me something?
Dentists always ask questions when it is impossible for you to answer. My dentist had just pulled out one of my teeth and had told me to rest for a while. I tried to say something, but my mouth was full of cotton wool. He knew I collected match boxes and asked me whether my collection was growing. He then asked me how my brother was and whether I liked my new job in London. In answer to these questions I either nodded or made strange noises. Meanwhile, my tongue was busy searching out the hole where the tooth had been. I suddenly felt very worried, but could not say anything. When the dentist at last removed the cotton wool from my mouth, I was able to tell him that he had pulled out the wrong tooth.
Lesson 49 The end of a dream
Tired of sleeping on the floor, a young man in Teheran saved up for years to buy a real bed. For the first time in his life, he became the proud owner of a bed which had springs and a mattress. Because the weather was very hot, he carried the bed on to the roof of his house. He slept very well for the first two nights, but on the third night, a storm blew up. A gust of wind swept the bed off the roof and sent it crashing into the courtyard below. The young man did not wake up until the bed had struck the ground. Although the bed was smashed to pieces, the man was miraculously unhurt. When he woke up, he was still on the mattress. Glancing at the bits of wood and metal that lay around him, the man sadly picked up the mattress and carried it into his house. After he had put it on the floor, he promptly went to sleep again.
Lesson 50 Taken for a ride
I love traveling in the country, but I don't like losing my way.
I went on an excursion recently, but my trip took me longer than
I expected.
‘I'm going to Woodford Green,’I said to the conductor as I got on the bus,‘but I don't know where it is.’
‘I'll tell you where to get off,’answered the conductor.
I sat in the front of the bus to get a good view of the countryside.
After some time, the bus stopped. Looking around, I realized with a shock that I was the only passenger left on the bus.
‘You'll have to get off here.’the conductor said.‘This is as far as we go.’
‘Is this Woodford Green?’asked.
‘Oh dear,’said the conductor suddenly.‘I forgot to put you off.’
‘It doesn't matter,’I said.‘I'll get off here.’
‘We're going back now,’ said the conductor.
‘Well, in that case, I prefer to stay on the bus,’I answered.