How to Move on From a Best Friend Breakup

Breaking up with a best friend can feel worse than splitting up with your partner—at least after a tryst ends, you’ve got your confidante to turn to. And while everyone acknowledges the trauma of romantic breakups, people don’t really talk about the fallout of a platonic separation.

But your brain doesn’t know the difference between a romantic or platonic relationship. A breakup is a breakup. There was intimacy and trust, and then there wasn’t. And it takes time to deal with the devastation of losing someone you always thought you’d have by your side.

Surviving a best friend breakup isn’t easy, but here’s how to start the process.

1. Acknowledge what happened and allow yourself time to grieve.

“Sometimes we underestimate the power of platonic relationships,” says Dani Moye, PhD, a marriage and family therapist. But, you expect to share the future with your close friends. And when that expectation disappears, it can be disorienting and disappointing. “Take the time to reflect on what this shift means to you,” says Moye. “When we don’t grieve the relational losses we’ve endured, it may take us longer to move on.”